Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Solitary, not lonely



Solitude and loneliness- Aren’t they the same?  If you answered yes, I can see the cringe on your English teacher’s face from where I am right now. Or if you are one of those who know the literal differences in the meaning of those words, yet don’t comprehend their practical manifestations in the physical world, then this is for you.

Yes, some of us really do love and value our solitude. Yes, we do exist. And no, we aren’t ‘abnormal’ or deprived of company.  Nor did we have a troubled childhood. It’s just that sometimes we really do love be with just ourselves.  

I often get asked if I don’t get bored staying alone. Most people are astonished to hear that a talkative person like me thoroughly enjoys my time by myself. Or that I won’t hesitate to go for brunches on my own if none of my friends have woken up by when my tummy decides it needs to be fed. Mind you, I am the hybrid of a flaming dragon and a dinosaur in labor pain when hungry. The tummy gets what it demands, when it demands. Simple. While I have had wonderful roommates who have grown to be best friends over the years, there comes point in life when you simply aren’t ready to share your space with anyone other than your partner. After all, it’s easier to straighten out one’s own mess without having to bother about having eaten the other person’s dinner by mistake. Yes, it’s happened. Nope, it wasn’t intentional. This is a long story for another day.

Watching a movie alone is a treat as well. If you don’t count the glaring stares from others, that is. The piercing stares from the girl clutching her partner’s arm protectively for fear of me snatching him for company is something that shocked me at first, but now makes me burst into my signature loud laugh which soon turns into a snort.  Please excuse me while I savor my tub of caramel-cheese popcorn. I have no inclination to give you reassuring looks as promise to not steal your partner.

Late night reading, cooking or painting sessions are absolutely therapeutic. When you are immersed in the nuances of the characters in your book, trying to balance flavors to hit the savory sweet spot, or trying to get the perfect shade of pink in your palette, it is meditation. 

This painting was done on one of those Friday nights I did not feel like socializing

Isn’t it wonderful that you’d rather be with a person because you genuinely want to spend time with them rather than to beat being alone? And if you don’t like spending time with yourself, why would someone else want to? Till then, stay wondering like Wordsworth about this Solitary Reaper‘s tune.